Being bullied is a frustrating and painful experience. When you are being bullied, it can often feel like things are out of your hands, but there are things that you can do to deal with the problem.
Firstly, it's important that you recognize these two things:
It's not your fault. The only person at fault is the bully.
You are not alone
Strategies for Dealing with Bullies
Different tactics work for different people. You will find what works for you. These strategies are some options to try against verbal attacks:
Avoid them. If a bully comes after you at the same place or time, change your routine. Otherwise, when a bully starts verbally attacking you, remove yourself from the situation if you can. Ignore them and walk away.
Have a conversation with them. Many people who bully have unresolved issues that cause them to act out. While this doesn't excuse their behavior, having a kind conversation with the bully might help them realize just how much their actions are hurting you and may deter them from continuing.
Demonstrate confidence. Walk with shoulders tall. Keep your head high. Make eye contact. Speak with a calm, clear, loud voice. Show them that you will not cower.
Be vocal. If a bully harasses you, yell "Stop!" or "Leave me alone!" Draw attention to what is going on.
Laugh. Bullies love to feel in control; they like to scare you. But if a bully verbally attacks you and you laugh, you take away that power. For example, bully says your shirt is ugly, and you laugh and say, "You're right! My shirt is ugly!" you have taken control of the conversation.
Use the buddy system. Stay with friends who will back you up.
Get help. If you are not able to deal with the bully alone, do not be embarrassed to ask for help from adults or other people you trust.
Here are some great comeback lines against verbal assault:
Do you feel better now?
If you're talking about me behind my back, clearly my life is a lot more interesting than yours is!
You're right!
Let me know when you’re done.
I’m not sure why you keep saying these things about me, but I don’t care.
In all cases, your demeanor can greatly impact the situation. Remember to breathe. Try to stay calm and show as much confidence as you can. Whatever you do, do not retaliate. That will only escalate the situation. You should absolutely stand up for yourself, and if things get physical, you should do what it takes to keep yourself safe. But retaliating verbally will only empower the bully and make the situation worse. Calm and in control will always work better.
Things to Remember
You are important and you deserve to feel safe.
Don't blame yourself. Bullying is never your fault. Don't blame yourself for the bully's shortcomings.
Don't take out your frustrations on other people. If you are being bullied, it can be easy to let the feelings of frustration out on another person. Resist the urge to do this because this would make you a bully too.
Don't let the bully disrupt your life. It can be tempting to skip school or work to avoid the bully. But this is letting them win. Unless you are physically unsafe in the situation, it is better to stick to your routine.
You are worth defending!
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