A couple weeks ago, I stumbled across a post on a popular martial arts page I follow, asking this question: "What are the three most important attributes for a Black Belt to possess?"
I pulled up the responses with interest. One in particular kept popping out to me:
It's been on my mind ever since, and I am eager to discuss my thoughts here and in classes this week.
Humility is an attitude of modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It allows us to candidly view the gaps in our knowledge and humbly seek to address our weaknesses. Aristotle understood humility as a virtue and believed that humility includes accurate self-knowledge and a generous acknowledgment or the qualities of others - in both cases, avoiding distortion and extremes.
In modern society, self-realization and enhancing our self-worth have become high aspirations. We are encouraged to use positive self-talk and to seek the best in ourselves. These are not bad practices! However, humility still has an important role to play.
According to Positive Psychology, "A humble mindset has significant positive effects on our cognitive, interpersonal, and decision-making skills. Humility is directly related to our ability and willingness to learn. Humble people are better learners and problem solvers. Humble students who are genuinely open to feedback often overtake their naturally more talented peers who think so highly of their own abilities that they reject all advice. Some studies have found that humility is more important as a predictive performance indicator than IQ."
I have personally witnessed this again and again. About eight years ago, when I was teaching at my master's school, I had a student in my class who was incredibly talented. Just naturally gifted. If he had applied himself, I truly believe he could have been a world champion. But every time I tried to help him, gave him feedback, worked on his technique - he shrugged me off. He knew that he was talented, and he thought that was enough. And it was, at first. The first few tournaments he went to, he demolished his competition. But he hit a plateau around red belt and stopped winning. His natural ability was not enough when his competition worked harder on their skills. They surpassed him. He ended up quitting about six months before he would have tested for black belt. It was a tragedy.
Humility helps us to be receptive to opportunities for improvement. It helps us to know our limits and to be open to constructive criticism. Humility also helps us to be grateful for what we have and the experiences we go through.
Every time we go to compete, I tell students that I don't care whether they win or lose, what I care about is that they learn from the experience. And I candidly tell our athletes that I have learned more from times when I have lost. If you win, you pat yourself on the back and call it a day. If you lose, you go back to training and figure out how to beat that guy next time. That is humility - taking our loss, accepting it, and learning from it. Simply put, humility is our greatest asset for self-improvement.
Here are some ways to practice humility at the dojang:
Listen to other people genuinely
Start with the assumption that whoever you are talking to has something you can learn from them.
Don't take offense if someone points out something you are doing wrong. It doesn't matter if they are older or younger than you, a higher or lower belt than you - take it as an opportunity to improve your own technique.
That said: if you want to correct someone else's technique, check yourself. Are you genuinely trying to help them, or are you trying to show off? If you really just want to help them, ask first. IE "Sir, I just noticed something you are doing, do you mind if I show you?"
When you face a setback - a tournament loss, an injury, a technique that is difficult for you to master - don't allow yourself to become frustrated. Instead, treat it as motivation to work harder and enhance yourself.
Face weaknesses head-on. Accepting them, rather than avoiding them, will allow you to turn them into strengths.
Always remember that there is more to learn! Black belt is not a destination, it is a journey.
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