Word of the Week: Respect

Respect is closely related to our tenet of Courtesy. There is certainly a great deal of overlap. So how is respect different?

Courtesy is a base level of civility that we use around all other people. We are polite to everyone, regardless of their behavior. We always treat others the way that we would want to be treated.

Respect goes a bit deeper; it is high regard or admiration for someone or something. We automatically respect people who impress us - authority figures, top athletes, skilled professionals whose work we admire. It is also natural for us to respect those who make a positive impact in our lives, such as parents, grandparents, teachers, and other mentors.

Respecting someone does not mean that we agree with everything they say or do. We are all different. And we are all flawed. But we can still respect them for the positive aspects of their lives.

There are many ways that we can show respect to these important figures in our lives, and the manner we choose will depend on our relationship with them. When we talk about children respecting parents, I suggest the following:

1. Listening and being obedient

2. Saying "yes ma'am" and "yes sir"

3. Using a polite voice when speaking

For adults showing respect to others, here are just a few ideas (honestly, this could be an article all to itself):

1. Listen to them attentively. (Don't be on your phone during conversations!)

2. Ask their advice

3. Express your gratitude

4. Assume the best of them, even if opinions differ

And specifically for taekwondo, here are some additional ways we show respect:

1. Saying "yes/no ma'am" and "yes/no sir" when addressed

2. Bowing to instructors and fellow students

3. Bowing when stepping on and off the mats

4. Keeping the studio clean

5. Maintaining a positive attitude

While we are expected to show courtesy to everyone around us, respect does not come quite so easily. Respect has to be earned, and once lost, it can be hard to get back. So, how can you get others to respect you?

1. Treat others with respect This should be really self-explanatory, but I still see a lot of people struggle with it. If you are rude, condescending, or hurtful to others, they will never respect you.

2. Live up to your promises If you say you're going to do something, do it. Failing in this will definitely lower you in the esteem of others.

3. Don't make excuses Have you ever listened to someone go on and on about why they can't do something? Not very impressive, is it?

4. Own up to your mistakes We all make them. If you want people to respect you, acknowledge when you mess up, do what you can to fix it, and move forward.

5. Serve As you selflessly invest in others, you will earn their respect and their trust.

Respect is a critical part of our martial arts training. At Grand Valley Taekwondo, we teach that a true black belt is a master of mind, body, and spirit. Regardless of physical ability, a student who is disrespectful will fail to progress, because they are not showing the mental strength that is required of our black belts. As with all aspects of taekwondo, respect can take practice. But the more we work at it, the more natural it will become, until it just becomes part of who we are.